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ASI Meetings and what is SI anyways?

  EVERYONE....If you follow Ashley and myslef, please...be warned! we have a mental illness. it's so bad, that we don't even realize how it affect us and the people around us. it's sad really. I just want to inform you all that we're a little sick. our illness is a rarity among only a certain few people, and it's so new that the illness has only been around for less then 20 or so years. it affects 98% female, between the ages 15 to 45 years of age and it can be spread(though it RARELY happens) But just be on the safe side, try to avoid a certain topic with us and when we 'lash out' try not to touch us. it can be spread.

Her Illness is called Jenklesism, a form of SI. while mine is different.

Now, this illness is mostly don by females, some of the symptoms and causes are as follows. Symptoms can range from a certain light in the eye, shortness of breath to full-on out attacks. but in most cases, it's just numbness to the throat(thus causes the voice to ware out into a broken tone), large burst of fits of excitement caused by the muscles spasms and jerking on reflex, eyes clouded in tears and redden for dryness(sometimes) lack of sleep, overworked jaw due to overaggressive talking(which causes bruises and soreness to the mouth and jaw) lack of water, Visions can sometimes occur, among other things.

In most cases its hard to tell the symptoms, until it's too late. Though the disorder is often misdiagnosed or unrecognized and it is often complicated by mood and anxiety disorders and most of the women and the few men that is ensnared by this illness, live their whole life's with it, but sometimes they don't. The illness vary's from person to person. it has no rhyme or reason when it strikes. it's just unfortunate that my friend has it.

Symptom lists in Rare cases:

dizziness, light-headedness, crying, tremor, vivid dreams, visions, increased salivation or lack there of, dry mouth, menstrual irregularities, libido changes, increased sweating, weight loss or gain,dependence on the cause of illness,

There is no cure to this illness and no one knows why some have to live with it for their whole life while others for a short time. All the doctors can figure out is the cause of this illness. As this illness is caused by the same thing in EVERY single person that it effects.

The Cause of this horrible illness is one thing, or rather, one person; Jensen Ackles.(Ashley's anyways)

Though this illness is hard to live with, when there are people who don't understand what the illness does to the person, it can make life hell. But there is an upside to this illness. because of it's uniqueness, there are three other BIG illness that is very similar to this illness(there are a few others but those are rare among those affected). so much so, that most of the people with these illness meet on weekends over a three to four day grace period. some people affect by it, don't meet with others like them in person, but choose to meet online on a popular site, called Tumblr. The other three illness; Mishinsism, Jareckism, and Marinoism. they are caused by in order; Misha Collins, Jared Padalecki , and Mark Pellegrino. which are all forms of Supernatural Illness, popularly known as just SI.

Many of you, i'm sure are wondering about treatment, right? well, those of you worried about your loved one who has this illness, there is a treatment but you're not going to like it. the person affected by this illness will not like you and so, you have to choose, will you accept them the way they are(and deal with their illness) or would you risk losing them due to treatment? If you are still reading then, i will take that as a yes, you want them to get help. the only treatment is professional help, three times a week, the Doctor that i rec is Dr. Hannibal(whose office is next to 221 B Baker street) along with a daily dose of kale and abnosome milkshake, every other month they must ride a dragon besides a young wizard by the name Merlin, and finally, they must never see, hear, or watch their idol ever again! now, the other treatments are mild and maybe even fun for the ones who are ill, but the biggest and the most painful is that last treatment. they may never forgive you OR if, by some miracle they forgive you, they may make you join them in Gishwhes, by doing the most horrible things! but will it be wroth it? i don't have a answer for you.

this is only my advice to you...love them even if they are freaking out over something...it'll pass. just be careful not to let it suck you in too.

Now, if i have worried everyone, the only thing i can say is, if this illness sounds awful and you want to prevent this from happening to you or your loved one. my only advice is this...DON'T let them watch or even see Supernatural or it's actors! Because this is the ONLY way to prevent one from becoming ill with this sickness.

I have to confess, i too is very ill and although my illness is cause by a different outlet, both Ashley and I are in the same boat and truthfully, that's how we met. We met at a meeting called Vancon and she told me her illness and i told her mine, which to say i have a Mish Collins(Mishinsism) and Mark Pellegrino (Marinoism) illness.(rarely people have multiple illness, and it can be harder on the affected persons body with multiple illness's) but i deal with it the best that i can. and when i start to show signs, i tend to drape myself in the arms of my fellow ASI members!

Anyways, I just wanted to tell everyone and i hope to have you all spread the word. and for those of you like myself and Ashley, join us on Tumblr or at our ASI (Anon Supernatural Illness) meetings. I will be going to Vancon again next year. until then.

Lists of Group meetings, for those of you with the same illness...

Chicago, IL
Oct. 24-26, 2014

Houston, TX
Jan. 23-25, 2015

Dallas, TX
Sep. 19-21, 2014

Las Vegas, NV
March 12-15,2015

Los Angeles, CA
Nov. 14-16, 2014

Minneapolis, MN
Aug. 21-23, 2015

San Francisco, CA
Jan. 16-18,2015

Toronto, ON
Oct. 10-12, 2014
Vancouver, BC
Aug. 22-24, 2014

Whippany, NJ
Sept. 5-7, 2014

Jun. 7th, 2014

I'm BACK!!!!

it's been..what- two years. lol


May. 1st, 2012

Yuri pile...i sooo want to be in that!

Caged by Hate

Caged by Hate

Hide who you are, never let it show;
Hate will find you, only one will follow.
Lovers, hiding amongst shallow hate.
Kisses so brief for fear of others faith.
Hide who you are, hide your passions;
Never to be freed from a cage of  lies
Loving another should never cause hate
But loving the same sex can.
hide or death will be your friend.
Hide who you are, never let it show
Or death will find you.
Hide your feelings deep within or
Hate from them will led you to your fate
And death will be your only friend.

                           Poem by Sexy_Yuri88


this is a poem about hiding who you are because of people not waiting to understand. it's about lesbians and gay men having to stop themselves from kissing and hold hands with their lovers in public places for fear of being hated,bullied,hurt,beaten up or worse killed because of who they are!!

i fucking sick and tired of people hating us because of who we love. it's not right and it's sad that many of us, kill ourselves and hide away, just because of people who think that we are some kind of 'ambulation' 'a sin against god' 'fags' when all we do is the same thing that they do..LOVE!

just because i love a women doesn't mean that my love is any different from yours..i also, think about wanting to rush home to them after a long day of work, i want to tell her how my day went, just like you, i also love to see her smile to hold her to just be there for her..just like, i'm sure every straight couple. gays and lesbians have the same feelings,  and beat with the same heart and bleed the same as straight people, and we love just as strongly as you do!

so why hate? why hate gays for the same kinds of love and devotion as you? i implore straight people, who hate, to see reason and to let us be! even if we can't get married yet, at least let us live without fear and hate!!

that's all we ask!

Struggle for control

Title: Struggle for Control
Book/Movie: Harry Potter
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Neville Longbottom
Summary: Neville lean in inch by slow inch, the intension of what Neville was about to do wasn’t lost on Draco Malfoy and somehow, he felt his control slipping. His face burned and he felt out of sorts with this new emotion that crawled in the pit of his stomach, as it made it’s way up to his chest and staining his cheeks. Draco Malfoy/Neville Longbottom, Smut
Rating: M
Genre: Romance
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I never will!
Prompt: Robes
A/N: I had no clue what to write for this prompt. I mean, when I picked it I had many, but when I sat down to write it..well…all thought went right out the window! So I’m sorry for this lame ass excuse for a story the I made, I will to better for the feb. prompt and I will try to find my damm fanfic fairy…she went on holiday and hasn’t re-turned yet…uuggghhhh…FYI the fanfics fairy is a fickle little bitch, but when she’s not being lazy or on holiday, she kicks major ass!*sorry for all the bad words, I just feel really mad that I can’t write*

But enjoy and while you guys read I will be looking for my fanfics fairy…I might check out the bars or the gay club first…she loves those, although I have no idea why!


Draco Malfoy smirked against Neville Longbottom’s neck as his hands made their way past Neville’s cumbersome robes. Draco scowled against the other boy’s neck in discontentment. What fool still had their robes on at this later hour? He discarded his hours ago before making his rounds as the Slytherin prefect and just feeling the robes against his hand pissed him off.

“ I knew I would catch you again Longbottom! You know the rules, no students out of bed after curfew” he drawled. “ And why in the bloody hell are you still wearing that blasted robe?”

Neville Longbottom looked at him in embarrassment and with mild desire. “I…”

Draco laughed. “Let me guess, you forgot the password again? You have got to be the worst Gryffindor in the history of Hogwarts!”

Anger overshadowed the lust in Neville’s eyes and Draco shoved Neville hard against the cold wall of the empty classroom.

“Stop it...Malfoy, this isn’t funny…”

“Whose laughing, Longbottom?”

Draco didn’t wait for a reply before he went back to rotating, tender and rough kisses against the other boys neck. Once again his hand made it’s way to the other boys cock, Draco had to stop himself from laughing out loud once he felt Neville‘s growing cock against his hand through the thin fabric. Instead he sucked hard at the exposed skin beneath him. He sucked thoroughly and then slowed until the whole area where his lips touch was completely wet. Draco heard the soft intake of breath and then a sigh escaped past Neville, he withdrew and softly blew on the wet skin, which caused chill bumps to form along the dried area on Neville‘s skin, the boy shuddered.

Suddenly Neville pulled his face up to his as two colors met eye to eye. Draco leveled his cool gray eyes on soft brown ones. Neville’s strong hand found it’s way to the back of Draco’s neck and for a long moment they just starred at one another until Draco felt strong fingers on the back of his neck. Teasing, moving…

The touch burned his skin.

Then suddenly Neville Longbottom pulled his face closer. Neville lean in inch by slow inch, the intension of what Neville was about to do wasn’t lost on Draco Malfoy and somehow, he felt his control slipping. His face burned and he felt out of sorts with this new emotion that crawled in the pit of his stomach, as it made it’s way up to his chest and staining his cheeks. He had to fix it. And he had to fix it, Now!

Reaching up he pulled Longbottom’s hand off of him and he choose not to look into the other boys eyes until he found the control he wanted, no needed, to keep going. He will not let Longbottom get to him.

“Well, Longbottom, if I didn’t know any better, I would think you didn’t put underwear on, on purpose! Now why would you do that…hmmm?” Draco pulled back and leveled his gaze at the blushing male against the cold stone wall.

Neville Longbottom opened, closed, then opened his mouth as no sound came out and Draco’s smirk widen.

“Could it be that you fancy a nice fuck?” Draco teased as he lean in next to Neville Longbottom’s right ear. The control, the feeling of power ran though his veins and he felt drunk with the thought that, he, Draco Malfoy was and is the only one to have touched Neville Longbottom in a in any soft of inmate way.

Of course, Draco thought as his smirk widened, who would want this no talent squib anyways? He was only good for his ego and that was it. He meant nothing to no one and he will never mean anything to him. Ever! Only a source of power and control. But as those thoughts ran through his head another small, tiny, soft voice spoke one small truth, that later Draco will come to embrace.

He holds a power over you and you can’t stand it!

Draco growled in disgust at that silly thought and pushed it aside for more, pleasurable ones.

He reached his hand into Neville Longbottom’s hair and softly circled around the locks of soft hair as his other hand roamed up and then back down toward the Gryffindor’s robes. Draco felt a soft gasp from the other boy, when his hand finally touched the thin fabric of Neville’s trousers. Draco grinned as he caressed, tease and pulled on Longbottom’s harden member through the ever growing tight trousers.

A soft whimper escaped past the Gryffindor’s lips.

“Is this what you want Longbottom?” Draco whispered softly in Neville’s ear. Neville moaned and wiggled against him, his eyes closed and his expression showed how much he wanted it, how much he needed to be set free and Draco felt the other boy coming and so, he stopped moving his hand and just rested it there, waiting for the other boy to notice the sudden change in movement. A second later, Neville opened his eyes in confusion and lust and with a question filled grunt, he spoke hoarsely. ”W…why...are you doing this?”

“Tell me how much you want it, Longbottom, otherwise I’ll have to stop, and you don’t want that now do you?” Draco rubbed Neville’s still clothed cock a few more times and then pulled his hand away he then licked the hallow shell of the brown hair boys ear.

“I…don’t…I. this is wrong Malfoy…we…shoul….” Neville denied.

“Don‘t be stupid! You can‘t deny that you like it…you want me…say it!”

Draco plunged his hand fully under boxers and trousers. He moved his hand faster with each new stoke, his fingers twisted, pulled and cupped his cock to full hardness. Taking it a step higher, Draco cupped and squeezed Neville’s balls with his hand, hoping to hear another loud gasps form the other boy. He needed the power, the need, the control, otherwise Draco felt he would have to admit something to himself that he wasn’t ready for and Neville needed to know his place.

“Tell me…Longbottom!” Draco whispered with a grin and even as Draco said it, he didn‘t stop, he couldn‘t even if wanted to.

“I… don’t need…I…Malfoy!…I’m about…”

Draco felt Neville’s body tense against his hand as white, hot ooze filled and poured down the other boys robes and pants. Neville panted against him as the other boys hand fisted his robes and his legs shook. Draco pulled his hand out and wiped the rest of the cum onto the Gryffindor’s robes in disgust.

“Well, you made quite a mess, Longbottom! I’m afraid I have to take fifty points from Gryffindor.” Draco sneered in amassment.

“Fuck off, Malfoy!” Neville Longbottom whispered as the lust slowly left his eyes as shame and anger took it‘s place. “I...it…it’s your fault!”

“My, My, such a mouth you have now Longbottom! Did Potter write that for you?”

Neville Longbottom pushed against Malfoy as he peered at him from his bangs and he forced himself from the wall, his knees still shaking.

Draco frowned.

“Pushy aren’t we? I pleased you so much, you can barely stand up!” Draco looked to his left, his face flushed lightly, although Neville Longbottom didn’t notice and quietly he spoke. “Well, I guess I could drop the fifty points…if you do something for me, that is!”

“What?” was Neville’s confused and shocked reply.

“What do you mean, what?” Draco sneered, crossed his arms over his chest and turned back to the other boy.

“What do you want Malfoy?”

“Well, it’s quite simple Longbottom. I want you mouth.” Draco said.

“My…Mouth?” Neville asked uncertainty.

“Yes, that’s the price. After all, you don’t want to cause anymore problems for your house do you?” Draco smirked.

“N…no…of course not…but I‘m not….” Neville mumbled.


Draco stood in front of Neville Longbottom and pulled the other by the back of his head to the floor and in one shift movement pulled his pants down to his hips. His harden cock bobbed against the waist of his pants and slowly he pushed Neville’s face to his ever aching member.

“Now, your Mouth Longbottom..”

What ever protest Neville had, quietly died out as his face hit the side of Malfoy’s penis.

Yuri AMV's

why is it that i find Yuri/Shoujo-ai so wonderful? there is just something sweet and heart-warming about the love between two girls..being gay, helps, but still, anime yuri is just the best! i love many different kinds of yuri amvs and this one i'm posting here, is just my fav!

the next post i will do is about the L Word, it's also sexy and sweet!

this AMV was made just right and you can't help but love it! the couples used is wonderful and the music was just the right touch!



Title: Lesson
Movie/Book: Harry Potter
Pairing: Tom Felton/ Matt Lewis aka Draco Malfoy/Neville Longbottom
Summary: Matthew hates to take pills and Tom finds a way to fix his best mate's problem. Preslash. Tom/Matt(Draco/Matt)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything and I did not make money off of this, and in no way did asked the actors if I could use them for my story, all though I hope Tom and Matt won't mind!
Rating: T
Genre: Romance/Humor
A/N: I do not own anything and I made no money off this. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to write fanficions on the actors and I hope they do not mind that I wrote a story on them. I know that many actors have banned the use of their persons in a fan fictions…like Ann Rice works, Tom Cruise, Colin Mitchell etc. so to Matt and Tom, if this story offends you guys, please let me know(though I doubt they would read my story anyways…..) but if you guys did, I'm sorry! (But not really, I mean I think both Tom and Matt would make a lovly couple and a very hot and sexy one at that! But I'm sorry for not asking 1st) please do not sue me, im only a poor college student who almost lost her job today!


"Take it Matt!" Tom demanded.

"No!" Matt said stubbornly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Stop being a prat and take the fucking pills!" Tom said in anger as he glared at him.

Matt looked at the pills in his best friends hand and looked back at him. "No"

"Fine, then you leave me with no other choice." Tom growled.

Before Matt could protest Tom quickly shoved the pills in his mouth and grabbed the cup of water on the desk by Neville's hospital bed and with three steps he ended up by Matt's side.

"What are you…?"

Matt let out a surprise sound as Tom lean in and kissed him. His mouth easily opened Matt's soft lips as a light trail of water made its way down the side of his mouth as he moaned into the kiss. Suddenly Tom tilted Matt's head up a little so the water, that didn't make it down his face, made its way down his throat. That way the water would help the pills would easily pass his throat muscles. Tom moved his lips away slightly to allow Matt to shallow and once he did, Tom kissed him again, smiling into the Matt's lips.

Matt felt the cold droplets run down the sides of his mouth to his neck and then disappear down his hospital gown, but he couldn't seem to care as Tom's mouth worked, messaged and caressed against his lips and before he knew it Tom ended the kiss. The blonde hair man pulled back only enough to watch the water drops ran down to his best friends body and to see Matt's reaction to his kiss.

Surprise. Shock. Arousal. Embarrassment all showed on Matt's heated face.

Tom smiled and slid his tongue down the side of Matt's mouth, licking away the wetness from his face. Then he made his way down Matt's neck, sucking and licking at the water trail, Matt shuddered and leaned into the touch. Tom pulled back and grinned down at the blushing dark hair man.

"Now are you going to take your pills for now on or am I going to have to do this every time?" Tom Felton voice sung.

"You're a prat, you know that, Tom?" Matt mumbled.

Tom laughed and leaned in and captured his lips once more.


i love this pairing so much!! the picture shown here is of Cartman x butters from south park and real-faker drew the the picture, she's the best!! she gives me soo many idea's for this pairing and i wish that i had the time to write as much as i to. anyways, i just wanted to share with the world my love for this pairing..

i want to write another fanfiction of them soon, maybe a x-mas story, but i have no clue as to what to write! HELP!!

and here is a passage from a fanfiction called Chasing Eric from Fanfiction.net

.....After undressing himself, Eric pinned Butters down against the blankets and used his knees to push his legs farther open. Butters shivered, the cool air stimulating every nerve in his body, he was tense, his senses all burning.

"Ah, Eric." He licked his lips, his fingers clenching the sheets waiting for the larger male to act. Eric moved back, stuffing his fingers past Butters swollen lips to his warm wet mouth. His two thick fingers, rubbing over his tongue till they were soaked in warm saliva. Eric relished in the choking sounds Butters was making just by filling his mouth up, he smirked growing aroused. He knew that it was kinda sick. Regardless, he pulled his fingers away and moved his hand down to Butters' ass. Pausing long enough to make eye contact with his blue eyed counterpart. Eric was hungry to see Butters' pain and fear. Eric swallowed hard, finding the scared look on his face irresistible as he push two thick fingers inside, stretching him, demanding his body to adjust to the intrusion. Butters moaned, a mix of pleasure and pain as Eric forced and stretched him more by each passing moment.

Butters muscles clenched tight, his pale blue eyes alive with excitement and fear as he watched Eric at the end of the bed watching his eyes, his erection rubbing on his lower belly. Eric's hard shaft was pressed into is own stomach as he knelt over Butters, more then eager to start pumping into him. He spit onto his palm and rubbed the extra moisture over Butters' little balloon knot before moving in for the kill. He rubbed the head of his shaft slowly over tensed entrance. Butters would need a little convincing if he was going to relax. "It's going to hurt if you don't relax a little." Eric grunted, as he pulled the smaller blond closer probing him lightly.

Butters nodded slowly taking deep breaths finely untensing enough for Eric to slowly push inside of him, his heavy shaft forcing itself deeper, inch by inch. Butters cried out, wrapping his arms about Eric's neck holding him tightly as he gasped in pain. Eric was trying hard to be gentle...trying. He slowly picked up the pace, pushing harder, letting Butters dig his fingers into his shoulders.

"Mmh, good." He whispered by Butters ear, hoping to keep him calm.

Eric scooped Butters up sitting up with the smaller male propped on his lap in almost a sitting position as he awkwardly moved him back against the headboard, rocking his thick length into him. Butters was trembling, his precum dribbling down his tiny pink shaft. Eric groaned, really thrusting into him as if to try to split him in two. The tears rolling down Butters' cheeks only exciting him further. His hands roughly grabbed hold of his slender thighs for leverage and he hardly acknowledge the warm spray of Butters cumming on his chest and belly. As Butters whole body tensed up trembling, set Eric off, in turn. He gasped as Butters tightened around his erection, with a groan, he dumped his load deep into Butters.

Eric with a final huff, ran out of steam, pinning Butters against the head board, at least until he caught his breath.

"Eric..." Butters chirped what felt to be half an hour later.

"Mh..." Came the incoherent grunt from atop him.

"...I can't breath..."

There was a small chuckle, and then finally Eric stirred, pushing his body off of the tiny blond that was stuck beneath him. Eric noted that he was sticky and covered in Butters cum. He took a deep breath before hauling himself off the bed with some effort and headed into the bathroom to turn the shower on.

Butters scooted off the bed, bouncing up and followed Eric into the bathroom. He glanced over his shoulder at the intrusion, a cool look gracing his features. Cool enough to make Butters hesitate. "...can I shower with you?" He mumbled, suddenly nervous again despite the warmth that they just shared.

Showers were intimate and being close like that was just too much for the chubby brunette. "...No." He frowned running his hands through his hair. "...You can shower in five minutes. Go sit." He gestured before ignoring Butters.

Butters opened his mouth to speak but decided against it, turning and went out to sit on the bed and wait for Eric to finish.

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